Maldita, Bruhilda

I once tried poetry writing, aeons ago. When i met Jun, i thought my
writing skills (if there's any) paled in comparison to his. Sus, wala gyud
binatbat 'day! So there.
I am posting one of his many poems for our Faith instead.

kay Zia Amirah

Parati ka naming mamahalin,
tawagin ka man nilang maldita,
bruhilda.

Sapakin  mo man at kagatin
ang iyong kuya, tuwing makikita
siyang nakakandong sa amin.
At kung gabi ay voluntarily at involuntarily
mo akong tinatadyakan sa tagiliran
kapag napadikit sa iyo. Mahimbing ka
ngunit  ang mga balat ay mulat
na nagbabantay sa nakaugalian
kong pagdadantay.

Parati ka naming mamahalin,
kahit na nagsasalubong ang iyong kilay,
tumutulis ang nguso at panay ang padyak
kapag narinig mo sa amin
ang huwag, hindi, tumigil: mga utos
na nagtatakda ng hangganan sa iyong
kakulitan at kalikutan na walang ibang
dahilan kundi ikaw ay pag-ingatan,
nang ikaw ay huwag masaktan.

Kahit na panay ang lipad
ng remote control, ng kutsara at tinidor,
ng tsinelas at aklat, ng laruang Batman
at de-friction na jeep-jeepan.

Kahit na magsisigaw ka sa pag-iyak
at maglulupasay sa sahig
dahil hindi ni-reload ng Colgate
ang pinaglalaruang toothbrush.

Kahit na sa gitna ng pagkakatulog namin
ay bigla ka na lang sisigaw ng malakas
na "Nanay! Meme!" para ipagtimpla
ka ng dede.

Mamahalin ka pa rin namin.

Hindi matatawaran ang malambing
mong pagyakap sa aming likuran
kapag inaasikaso ang mga halaman
sa hardin; o ang masuyo mong ngiti
tuwing sumisilip ka at pumapasok sa silid;
ang mala-pusa mong pagyakap sa aming
mga paa tuwing sasalubungin kami sa pag-uwi,
ang ritwal na pagpapahalik mo sa magkabilang
pisngi, noo, baba, ilong at labi; ang iyong
sayaw na ocho-ocho; ang pag-aalaga
mo at pagmamahal sa mga manikang
tuta na si M at teddy bear na si W at kung
paano mo ako kalabitin sa tagiliran
kapag nagpuprogram sa computer
para bigyan lang ng tsokolate,
at magtanong, "Bati mo ba ato tatay?"

Parati ka naming mamahalin.

Pamper yourself

Yesterday, when I asked bro to accompany me in the market -- I saw this huge tarpo re whole body massage for only 250php. not bad. although i have yet to check their service. Goodness gracious, i need some of those ey. I deserve a lil of this and that. Maybe today...after mamalengke. Will they massage me if I tell them I'd been awake all night? Cant sleep so I fixed this blog thingy. Waaaahhhhh!

Music and Magic

Like a compendium of notes, music has a different effect on me. I mean, everybody loves singing but my relationship with it is almost magical. Parang lotion. May soothing effect. Give me any song's melody and I'm sure to name it. I seem to have a special affinity with it, that recently I bought myself a magic sing.

As a kid, I remember one of my aunts wondering how it was so easy for me to register lyrics in my head. We don't even own a decent sound system then. My father only had a car stereo that his friend gave or sold?! Must be in my blood. I had a cousin who can belt Air Supply songs. In fact he can outdo Russel Hitchcock! He's not a special case. There are a lot of us in the family who can belt M. Carey, W. Houston's. (Tsk. Mayabang na ba.)

Nevertheless, it's the only constant companion in my life: school days were not complete without it, my teenage life would've been boring, ... in other words, music's just like a twin sister to me. Ever present. A witness to all my struggles and fight. My number one friend!

Here are my all-time favorites:

1. Kiss-a-Me (Agaw Agimat). Very reminiscent of my college days. Back to a time when I was still this skinny girl who doesn't care if her get-up is so kadirically cute. (I laugh out loud just having to imagine myself in those days. Good thing I had my friends who accepted me just the same).

2. Sundo (Imago). Poetic. I love the way its vocalist rendered the entire song.

3. Huwag Mo Nang Itanong (Eraserheads). Need I explain more? I was a big big fan of Buendia and his band. This song always reminds me of weekends in Pili. After a week in Naga, I had to go back home and enjoy life as youths would do. I watch basketball (and stare nonstop at my crushes like a mad woman). I hangout with cousins (but I dont drink the way they did). I did volunteer work with an NGO in our village.

4. Kailanman (Introvoys). Basta maganda syang pakinggan. High school pa ata ako nito. Yung mga iba pang trip ko nun sila Geneva Cruz, Donna Cruz...aruuu. Hehe. Mais! Mais!

5. Stop (Spice Girls). I like the beat. In college -- there were news about the supposed "gender" of the British-all female pop group. I guess its another big factor. You listen to it then ask your self hey, are these people really gays? "Stop" reminds me of newsletter writing and editing at PIB (Walingwaling Street) and those eating sessions with Plan Staff at Biggs, or Jollibee.

6. Cool Ka Lang (Prettier than Pink). Kaya't cool ka lang, cool ka lang, simple lang ang buhay ngumiti ka na lang. cool ka lang, relaks ka lang...

7. Running Away (Tunay na Amo). Highschool life: ito naalala ko sa kanta -- tuwing miyerkules, kasama ako sa cleaners/sweepers. Wala lang, may isang pakyut dun. Sunod nang sunod. Papansin. (Pero wala na sya. God bless his soul.)

8. Strangers Again (Cinema). Reminds me of our summer youth camps in 4H Club at DA-Bikol. Pati mga rabuz na yan. Awww. very barriotic ko talaga 'ne. Di bale. am proud just the same.

9. Can We Still Be Friends. Actually, I like Moore's version in the same way I appreciated Todd Rundgren's (orig singer).

10. Kanlungan (Buklod). Talk about theater days and shibashi sessions! Well everytime we have stage presentations, we exercise (shibashi) using Kanlungan as a background. Reminds me also of the theater training we had at Penafrancia Resort in 1996. In one week I was able to memorize all the songs of Buklod kase yun lang pinatugtog nila!

IMPROVING SELF-CONFIDENCE

I started collecting Cosmo magazines since ANCIENT times. Anyways, I came across these interesting suggestions about gaining more self-confidence (in its July 2004 ish).

Lighten your mind

• Congratulate yourself from time to time and make a list of accomplishments
• List down your good qualities and you’ll be surprised at how many you’ll come up with!
• Do what you do best and pass it on to others
• Be thankful for what you have

Enlighten your body

• Get a makeover
• Exercise
• Eat healthier
• Look good, feel good physically, and you’ll feel great about yourself!

Get lit up by something new

• Learn a foreign language
• Go somewhere you haven’t been to
• Sign up for art classes
• Constantly seek ways to improve yourself